Steven Moffat Does the Classics

So I thought this would be funny, as an addendum to the discussion of the sexism of Sherlock. Add more below!

 

Steven Moffat adapts Jane Eyre:

“Reader, he married me.”

 

Steven Moffat adapts Pride and Prejudice:

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a husband.”

 

Steven Moffat adapts Measure for Measure:

Duke: What’s mine is yours, and what is yours is mine.
Isabella: Oh, alright then.

 

Steven Moffat remains faithful to Ulysses:

“… and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.”

 

Steven Moffat adapts A Doll’s House:

Nora: Goodbye. [She goes out through the hall.]

Torvald [sinks down on a chair at the door and buries his face in his hands]: Nora! Nora! [Looks round, and rises.] Empty. She is gone. [A hope flashes across his mind.] The most wonderful thing of all–?

[The sound of a door gently, lovingly opening is heard from below.]

 

Steven Moffat adapts Merchant of Venice:

Graziano: My lord Bassanio gave his ring away

Unto the judge that begged it.

Portia: The ring is nothing to me, it ever was

My lord Bassanio’s to give.

 

Steven Moffat adapts “A Scandal in Bohemia”:

Irene Adler: Please…. You’re right. I won’t even last six months. [She starts to cry.]

Sherlock: Sorry about dinner. [Exit]

Oh wait…